Gareth Southgate on the importance of male mentorship

The Observer, 14 June 2025

The Observer, 14 June 2025

Lessons Beyond the Touchline

When Gareth Southgate speaks about leadership and mentorship, he does so not merely as a football manager, but as someone acutely aware of the wider challenges facing young people today. While his reflections are often rooted in sport, the principles he highlights extend far beyond the pitch. They speak to any young person trying to navigate a competitive environment — whether that is school, university, or the modern job market.

Mentorship as a Transferable Model, Not Just a Sporting One

Southgate frequently uses sport as an analogy for life, and for good reason. Elite sport makes the value of mentorship visible: guidance, accountability, perspective, and emotional regulation are all clearly linked to performance. Yet these same pressures exist for young people outside sport. Academic competition, selective universities, oversubscribed graduate schemes, and a rapidly changing employment landscape all demand resilience, confidence, and clarity of purpose.

The sporting analogy works precisely because it is transferable. Young people today are constantly measured, compared, and ranked. In these environments, a mentor can provide something that grades, feedback reports, and performance metrics cannot: perspective. Someone who helps the individual understand not just how they are performing, but who they are becoming in the process.

The Value of an Independent Mentor Outside the System

In professional sport, mentorship is not an afterthought. Clubs frequently pair young players with former professionals or recent academy graduates, individuals who understand the pressures from the inside, but are no longer responsible for selection, contracts, or performance reviews.

This distance matters and I would argue that in professional sport, they don’t go far enough.

A mentor who sits outside the formal framework in which a young person operates can offer objectivity and psychological safety. They can listen without judgement, without assessment, and without consequences attached. For many young people, this is the only space where they feel able to vent frustrations, voice doubts, or admit uncertainty; conversations they may avoid with teachers, tutors, managers, or coaches for fear of how it might affect outcomes.

Southgate’s reflections echo this reality. Development is not linear, and progress is rarely smooth. Having a consistent, trusted adult who is not tied to grades, promotions, or team selection can be transformative.

Mentorship as a Counterbalance to Social Media Influence

One of Southgate’s most resonant points concerns the impact of social media algorithms on young men. In schools and mentoring contexts, this concern is increasingly borne out. Content designed to provoke, polarise, or sensationalise is often pushed aggressively, particularly towards adolescent boys.

However, the reality is more nuanced than panic headlines suggest. In many cases, young men are not passively absorbing what they see. They often recognise that much of this content does not sit comfortably with them, but they lack a space to process it.

This is where mentorship plays a critical role. Through honest discussion with a trusted role model, young people can question what they are consuming, articulate their discomfort, and develop healthier digital habits. Rather than simply restricting or condemning social media use, mentorship allows for a proactive response: helping young people build discernment, balance, and self-awareness.

Finding a Mentor Should Not Be Left to Chance

Southgate’s own experience highlights how powerful mentor relationships often begin organically, frequently through sport. Many young people find similar connections with teachers, tutors, or music instructors. Yet as pupils move through year groups, transition to secondary school, or progress to university, this contact often fades.

The problem is not a lack of capable mentors, but a matter of bringing the right people together. That and a lack of continuity.

Too often, young people do not “naturally” find their mentor. The process relies heavily on chance: being in the right class, meeting the right teacher, or crossing paths with the right coach at the right moment. When those relationships fall away, there is rarely a structured replacement.

Southgate’s reflections underline the importance of intentionality. Mentorship should not be left to luck. If we accept that guidance, perspective, and emotional support are as vital as academic or technical skill, then providing access to consistent mentorship becomes a responsibility, not a luxury.

Final Takeaways

Young people thrive when they feel seen, supported, and understood by adults who have no agenda other than their long-term development.

Whether on the pitch, in the classroom, or navigating early adulthood, mentorship remains one of the most effective and underutilised tools we have to support young people in becoming capable, confident, and grounded individuals. It's a tough world to grow up in. An extra layer of support and guidance through mentorship goes a long way. If nothing else, it's a safety net. But at it's best, mentorship is transformative; unlocking potential, confidence and self belief that lasts for life.

Sam James, November 2025

Original article: The Obeserver, 14 Jun 25, https://observer.co.uk/news/first-person/article/gareth-southgate-the-need-for-mentorship-has-never-been-greater